Our Van is possessed by evil spirits!!!!!

It was quarter to 6 in the morning and Ben, Josh and I were walking out of the ward building after attending early morning seminary. The sky was still dark but there was a hint of gold on the horizon assuring us that once more we were to be blessed with a glorious new day.

I asked Ben if he wanted to drive home and he replied that he was tired and did not want to drive home... Strange he was always jumping at any opportunity to drive. I shrugged it off because teens can be so bipolar. LOL. The drive home began normally in fact I was enjoying it because I did not have to grip the door handle with white-knuckled fear over the common occurrence of one of my sons driving too close to the curb or on coming traffic.

The discussion for the morning was led by Joshua and it was concerning that fact as to why our church says it does not believe in Adams transgressing yet at the same time in the Book of Mormon the Lamanites descendents were cursed with dark skin because of what their parents did.

I’m all for a good discussion on theology but my brain was half asleep and I was having a little trouble getting it ramped up for this depth of a discussion so early in the morning. Somewhere in between me trying to drive and answer Josh’s question I heard Ben fussing about the radio and that it was not working right. I brushed it off as nothing new, mornings generally did not produce the best signal and we were always having to change the channel because of static.

I was at that moment was messing with the AC (yes we do need AC at 6 AM in Florida even in September) I had had it on the defrost mode because the warmth of the out side air and the cool of the inside of the van tends to fog up the windows! It was getting a little on the cold side and so I switched it off. After a second or two the sensation of cold air billowing upon my sandaled feet made its way through my mind and registered I though hey dummy you turned to AC to indoor floor air instead of turning it off. I glanced down and that is when the hair on the back of my neck stood straight up. The AC WAS turned OFF!!

Ok suddenly driving got a lot more difficult I could not figure out how in the world the AC could still be on and blowing when it was turned off. Josh was still going on and on (he was totally oblivious as to what was going on.) That’s when Ben’s insistent chatter regarding the radio registered full force. The radio was turning its self on and off.

I looked at the dash board and the ABS light came on as did the break and air bag lights. I was begging to freak out a bit. At that point the radio turned off completely killing even the clock display. Suddenly the right turn signal turned on and no matter what I did it would not turn off but the crazy thing was it should not be on at all the switch was not switched.

Suddenly the headlights turned off! I was driving in the dark the only light was that of the flashing yellow right turn signal. By this time my heart was pounding and I was finding it hard to understand my mind was shutting down. It was like I was stuck in some Twilight Zone episode. Oh even worse God was angry at Josh for all his questioning.

Josh had by now become aware of our predicament and was silent for a moment. Then he and Ben began issuing instructions as to what was going on and why I don’t honestly know what they were saying. We were about 4 blocks from home when the engine began to falter and the van was jerking down the road the right signal had stopped and I was driving without head lights down a road full of traffic making their way to and from the high school. I was afraid one of those new teen drivers would not see me and crash into me. This fear was the most profound at the four way stop two blocks from my house. Finally it was my turn to go and I stepped on the gas and the car lurched an inch and faltered. There were cars at each street of that intersection I slammed on the gas with all my strength and the van just made tinny jerking motions further into the intersection.

That’s all I needed was for the van to die in the center of a four way stop during the morning rush to get to the high school the traffic jam this would create would be enormous. At this point I let up off of the gas and the van shot through the intersection like some possessed demon!!! What the HECK??? Now the van drives with no gas and stops when I push on the gas? The boys were telling me to just pull over and stop but I was bound and determined to get this monster home and into the driveway so that my wonderful all knowing husband could either cast out the evil spirit with his priesthood power or fix it with his auto know-how. As this point I was leaning towards the need of some holy water.

The driveway was in view and I flipped the left turn signal but nothing happened!! So I griped the wheel and rolled into the driveway. I was never so glad to be home in all of my life! I put the beast in park and turned off the key and the head lights flashed on! Ok dumb things a little late so I reached down to turn them off and click they did not turn off. The radio suddenly turned on as did the AC. So there I sat holding my keys in my had whith everything in the off position but nothing was off. I was frozen. Now I know I would not survive a horror movie I would just sit there like a dolt and go WHAAAATT the heck???!!! Then whack it would be all over for me.

I got out as Will came out of the house the boys had gone for him at my instruction and he calmly said it’s the battery! I’m like no way how in the heck could it be the battery only an evil spirit could keep the lights and stuff on when they were off!! He was insistent I was unrepentant in my belief of something more sinister. I popped the hood as Will grabbed our battery charger and as he attached it to the van I did not cease in my verbal bla bla bla!!!

No sooner did he get it all hooked up and charging when everything instantly turned off. He looked at me with a smug expression and said see. Yes I did see and I was silenced but only for a moment. LOL He asked for my keys and he got into that demented vehicle and turned it over and everything was back to normal.

Wow he does have some powerful priesthood power all he did was to lay his hands on the van and it was fixed. Well mostly. After the battery what charged he took it to the shop and we are now over $300.00 lighter in our pockets because the alternator needed replacing.

What is it with me and haunted technology?????